The Only Biblical Reason to Divorce Your Husband
The only Biblical reason to divorce your husband is if he files for divorce. In 1 Corinthians 7:15, the Bible says, referring to marriage, "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart."
What About Adultery?
Many people mistakenly believe that if a spouse commits adultery, that the other spouse is free to divorce, thanks to Matthew 5:31-32. This is not the case at all. That passage says that if you divorce and remarry, you are an adulterer, which is entirely true. Remarriage is Biblically adultery no matter how you want to justify it.
What that passage is saying is that an adulterer will not be considered an adulterer because of they got remarried. They will be considered an adulterer because they committed adultery while they were in a marriage. This is not an exemption at all. This is showing how seriously God takes marriage.
What About Abuse?
I am not going to say that any woman should be staying with an abusive husband. It is not safe, and your children, particularly sons, will likely grow up to be abusive as well. At the same time, the Bible gives no justification to leave because of abuse. It just is not in there. I would cannot say that God wants you to be in an abusive relationship. That is not how he designed marriage. Marriage is supposed to be a picture of God's love for the church. A husband is supposed to love his wife just as much as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). A marriage that does not follow that pattern is distorted. However, being in a distorted marriage is not a Biblical justification for divorce.
Conventional Christian counselors will tell an abused women to leave while the husband is violent and come back later to try to work it out. This is very dangerous advice. Half of all murdered women are murdered by their significant other. Most of those are when she is trying to leave him. In an abusive situation, I would opt for permanent separation, with no divorce, and no remarriage.
Another option is a non lethal weapon, like pepper spray or a stun gun. This will disable your attacker, also known as your husband, and give you a chance to get away when violence arises. If a husband is remorseful about his violence, he may agree to this. Otherwise, beware of your conscience when it comes to submitting in everything (Ephesian 5:24). This will also show your children that violence is unacceptable and is to be taken seriously, dissuading them to emulate their father's behavior.
There are many effects of sin in our lives. Every marriage will be tainted by sin in some way, whether it is selfishness or adultery, slothfulness or violence. In God's eyes, all sin is equally offensive. If you simply think that your spouse's sin is worse than your own, then you need more introspection, not divorce.
I have struggled with the desire for divorce as well. I recorded some of my journey in a blog, entitled A Woman's Random Thoughts. In some entries, I was in a position that I wanted to go. In other entries, I wanted to stay. It is an emotional journey. Know that you are not alone.