Kids and Divorce - What the Kids Need to Be Told
Children are very resilient when it comes to bouncing back from adversity and stressful situations. One such of these situations is that of the parents getting divorced. How do you tell a child what that is? You tell them that mommy and daddy do not want to be married anymore.
You have to explain to them that you, the parents, just do not get along anymore. Your child may have come to this conclusion themselves. They may have heard or seen you fighting and going all out to be mean to each other.
The important thing here is to make sure your children understand that neither parent is "divorcing" any of the kids. If your kids think you want to divorce them to, They will think that no parent wants them. This is not a good thing to have your child think.
You are the parents of these kids. That will never change. It is forever.
Another thing you have to make sure your kids understand is that they are not the reason for the divorce. Sure, one parent may be a real jerk, like my girlfriend's ex-husband who blamed it all on the kids and told them that to their face. We all know that is not true. You have to be vigilant in making the children understand that that divorce is between mom and dad, not mom, dad and them.
Children are very clever. If they know that their parents are going to split up, they may try and get them back together. They come up with some ideas now don't they.
They may get in trouble on purpose so both parents have to come to where ever and sit together and find our what happened. They may invite both parents to an event and not tell either one of them that the other is coming. It is not a child's job to fix a relationship that is ending. This is another thing you have to try and make your kids understand.
After your long talk with the kids trying to explain things to them, you may want to lay on the couch under your chenille blanket and watch a movie. Show them you still want to be with them and care. You can find a chenille blanket and others at http://www.downthrowblanket.net/