Quick, Cheap, Divorce

Why should you pause before deciding to announce your divorce and follow through with divorce papers. Here are three good reasons.

1. Stats show that a majority of divorcees do not lead a happier life, whether they re-marry or stay single. A major study in 2007 of over 5,000 couples by Sloan School of Social Studies showed that over 85% of them were not happier after divorce. In fact, in a related study, it was shown that over 70% of couples who avoided divorce remained married for several more years and led happier lives.

2. Divorce is an emotional process. If you or your spouse is vulnerable to adverse emotional balance, it will indeed be a very rough road for several months--even years.

3. Divorce is costly.

4. Divorce almost always has a negative impact on children and families, even grown children?

So what is the alternative? As you are moving to the path of divorce, ask yourself these questions--this is just a sample, you can make up your own, based on your priorities and individual circumstances.

-How will I lead the life without my spouse?

-What are areas we agreed on, and what are things that we did together. Where did we succeed and how?

-What has changed and for how long, that has led me to seek divorce?

-Can we afford to live separately given our financial condition?

-How will it affect my children?

Answer each of these questions honestly and unemotionally, and if you wish, give each one a weight count. So for instance it may be very important to you to maintain the same financial style you have had before, and if divorce puts a huge dent into it, it may be better for you to settle your differences and stay married. Each question has a + or - score of 1 to 10. So eg. if you feel that you cannot financially afford to be separate, you may score -7 against that line item. This is called the LAS (life after spouse) score. If your total for all of the questions ends up being a large minus figure, divorce is not for you.

Once you have squarely answered these, ask your spouse to do the same. Then compare the answers. Unless there is a catastrophic breach in your marriage caused by such traumatic incidents as infidelity, you may find that each of you will be much more miserable separated than staying married. Now, there is your answer. It is a contract that is better for both of you to continue living up to.

Good luck.